Govament seh yuh nuh fi beat yuh pickney. Is the government trying to parent the parents?

Author: S. Jeffery

 

But si yah!! What is dis Fada?!

Mi deh yah gud gud a mine mi own bizniz enuh and jus a scroll pon social media an' guh buck up pon one newspaper article from Jamaica Gleaner weh a talk seh Minister of Justice Chuck a seh parents cyaa discipline dem pickney using di belt or cane again!

When mi si di headline 'Chuck: Law coming to ban corporal punishment in homes', yuh fi si how fast mi click pon it fi read it.

At first mi seh no sah a joke thing dis, but wen mi a look pon some a di remarks pon the socials mi seh dem peepul yah mussi a guh mad. How yuh fi agree wid Missa Chuck fi tek weh di parents rights fi discipline dem owna pickney?!

Dem peepul deh cannot, I say cannot be parents too and if they are, fi dem pickney mus' be some likkle angel a dem yaad but who knows if dem a nuh devil outta road.

Di argument is that di adult dem weh get bare lick when dem wuz kids are the most maladjusted, violent set of adults. Mi nuh agree wid dat.

A di one dem weh neva get nuh gud strapping wen dem yung a di problem.

Nuh tek mi as di benchmark fi di pckney dem weh use to get beaten but listen to mi.

Mi use to get some lick enuh, an' mi neva like it one bit.

But I have never gotten into a fight with anyone. Nope never. I have never instigated an argument or a physical altercation. I try to avoid situations that are not wholesome for me, and I like my peace. True true thing! I sure do respect people in authority and I have no problem listening to instructions from anyone --manager or janitor.

My parents taught me to respect people and their personal space, and that EVERYONE needs to be respected. If I was ever "facety" with anyone as a preteen I would get an ear full of rebukes. Of course the foundation had been set from when I was much younger, a spank here or there to get me in line, so I can understand what behavior was appropriate and what was not.

For some reason (discriminatory reason I think) people think that people from the ghetto always resort to spanking, and that this is their modus operandi when their kids misbehave; this in turn spawns an appetite for violence in our society, because the kids want to act out what they have experienced.

Nothin' like dat!

If that were the case di whol' a Jamaica would be on fire right now. More violence than what we are seeing now.

Though their influence is quite terrifying, there are only a small number of people behaving badly in this country. The majority of us "the spanked" like to stay out of trouble.

Psst! News flash! Di pickney dem a misbehave a skool becaaz dem know seh di teacha dem cyaa lick dem and dem cyaa expel dem neither! Trus' mi a dat a gwaan.

Not every person who lives in an "innercity community" is violent and prone to a life of crime. I would posit that it is the children who lack parental control, lack guidance and discipline are the ones who may end up doing violent acts. And I say, may commit these acts. Just because a child was not monitored carefully by their parents does not mean they will become a "bad pickney" and a violent adult later on in life. As a society, we should thank God for the grandmas and grandpas, the aunties and uncles, even church aunties and uncles who choose to get involved in children's lives in this country.

We also don't know why a good child turns into a delinquent as an adult. Hey... It happens! We can only say that it happens. Many of us however who have experienced the rod as children know that without it God only knows where we would be. Below I have shared some scenarios I think we are all familiar with and some of us have probably experienced ourselves while growing up in Jamaica. I also show in these instances how the spank we got from our parents transcended these situations for our benefit in adulthood:

• We play too much and our parents tell us it's time to read a book we throw a tantrum, stomp our feet and throw our toys on the ground. The rod of correction is there to remind us that play time is done now and we need fi tek up we book and read it.
• Prioritizing: We learn from this that there is a time and a place for everything and we need to prioritize what is important.
• We "scull school" (we avoid school) and go hang out with our friends, then our mom or dad finds out and we get a good spanking:
• Delayed gratification: Our education is most important. It determines to an extent where we end up in our lives socially and financially. Our parents know this but we do not yet understand. As kids we want to romp until we get tired and it's time to sleep but that is not wise. We have to trust that our parents know best even if we don't see it yet. Recreation can be done at a later time.
• We see a tantalizing, dancing light in one of the corners of the house. A candle or a lamp is lit and placed on a night stand but the dancing light of the fire is so fascinating we just want to touch it. So we touch it and when our parents catch us in the act we get a slap on the wrist.
• Impulse control - Some things are best left alone for our own safety (and I dare say some people), and it's best to avoid dangerous situations. Imagine if our parent/s or another adult had not caught us in time? We could be burnt out of our house because of a silly but ignorant decision we made as kids.

As young children we don't yet know what is right from wrong and we can get ourselves into situations that can be detrimental for us or even those around us. We are not yet aware of whether some things are dangerous or safe activities, and reasoning with us at a tender age may not work since we don't yet fully understand what our parents are saying, neither the consequences of our actions. A nice slap on the bum or the wrist however, will awaken us to the knowledge that something we did was wrong and we need to desist from that activity.

If we look back at the points above 'prioritizing', 'delayed gratification', 'impulse control' we realize that all these 'disciplines' we learned as children are of immense benefit to us in adult life. I would argue that it is the children who never learned these lessons and others such as team work, listening to others, learning to share, are the ones who have issues today. A happy, thriving and disciplined child who gets a few spanks every now and then (not excessive beatings or thumps and kicks) becomes a well adjusted, sensible adult who is in control of his/her impulses and knows how to temper their emotions, so they don't get in trouble with the law.

Many of us are grateful to our parents for the lessons they taught us, though some of them were painful. While we understand that the government may mean well, they are in fact overreaching their role and responsibility to Jamaican society. The government's role is to deal with the issues that affect the wider society, we could call them the macro matters such as the economy, defence and safety, industry and commerce. The parents' roles are to manage their household and the micro issues that occur there such as family finances, indiscipline, chores and instilling morality in their children.

Each family consists of the parents or parent - whether mother or father - and children. Some households may have grandparents, and/or aunts and uncles. The adults in the family create an environment in the home where the child/children learn various skills that redound to their benefit in later life. Skills such as leadership, self control, cooperation, patience, delayed gratification (see above), self sufficiency, decision making, fear of God or morality, etc. These are the building blocks of a smart human being. In nowhere there is the role of the government. Understanding one's civic duty as a human being can be taught by your parents. Are they not our first teachers on how to interact with others? Yes.

The government's role is to ensure that the rights of the individual citizen is not trampled on. Which includes or should include raising children without outside interference, unless of course the parent seeks assistance. The family support system is the first line of defence against harmful societal norms. The government cannot be there for the first early years of a child's life and is unable to personally impart the values and nurturing a child will need. They can provide services that ensure the child's health and well-being are re-enforced by the systems set up in the public space for their benefit, but the child for the most part exists in the private domain of the home, where the government has no right to go.

In the home the parents are the apex authority and it is best it stays that way.