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Let me make it up to you
She was washing her hair when she heard her phone ringing. Water dripped down her neck and shoulders, suds still clinging to her coils. Sudie reached for a towel, her hands wet, and picked up the mobile device on the bathroom faucet.
"Hello?"
"Good morning, Sweet Angel. How are you feeling?"
His voice was low, careful. Like he was testing the air between them. Sudie bit her bottom lip. She did not respond. Her breath caught, shallow.
Ryan exhaled softly over the line. "I'm really sorry about last night. I want to make it up to you."
She closed her eyes for a second, the towel pressed against her hair.
"I'm washing my hair," Sudie replied.
There was a pause, then a smile in his voice.
"Oh, okay. Even better. Let me help you," Ryan said.
Her eyes widened.
"I don't—"
"Open the door, baby," he said.
Before she could answer, a soft, firm knock on the door signaled his arrival. Her heart jumped. She looked at the phone and saw that he had ended the call. She grimaced and hissed her teeth, water still beading on her skin, but went to answer the door.
She swung it open to see him at her doorway in a new, white t-shirt and dark blue jeans that also looked new. The shirt clung to his shoulders, fresh and clean. He had a bag with him. He smiled at her — that slow, relieved smile that made his eyes soften.
"Hey, beautiful," he said softly.
Self-conscious, Sudie pulled gently at her shrinking hair and blotted the towel on the damp, tightly coiled tresses. Droplets fell onto the tile.
Ryan came forward and stood in front of her, close enough that she could feel the warmth coming off him. Tentatively, he reached out his right hand and touched her cheek, his fingertips still cool from outside. He lifted her face to look at him. Bending his head, he pressed his forehead to hers and inhaled her scent — shampoo and steam and her.
"I'm really sorry, Sue. Let me make it up to you, please."
His breath brushed her lips. Sudie closed her eyes and sighed, her forehead still resting against his.
"Did it not mean anything to you?"
"What?" he asked, his voice coming out a little gravelly.
She finally looked up at him, her eyes searching his.
"You touched me intimately and then you ran away," Sudie said, her expression unreadable.
His hand tightened ever so slightly on her cheek, like her words had hit him.
Ryan lifted his head and brushed his lips on her brow, lingering there.
"You mean so much to me. Yes, touching you—seeing you enjoy what I was doing to you was the best feeling. It felt so good that I wanted to do more. I was very close to making love to you."
Her chest rose unevenly.
"I wanted you to," Sudie admitted.
The confession hung in the air like a heavy cloak between them. His eyes darkened, but he didn't move closer. He held himself there.
He kissed her brow. "I know. I don't regret wanting you like that. I regret starting something we both know I couldn't finish."
The tension in her shoulders finally broke. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.
"I love you," she said.
He bent his head and captured her lips in a slow, achingly tender kiss, his hand sliding from her cheek to cradle the back of her damp head, careful not to pull.
"I love you," he whispered.
She leaned into him, her damp towel pressing against his white shirt, leaving a faint wet mark he didn't care about at all. Ryan laid the bag on the floor and circled his arms around her as they continued to kiss, slow and unhurried, making up for last night without rushing this one. When they finally moved apart, his eyes dropped to her hair, his fingers already itching to touch.
"You finished washing?" he asked.
She shook her head as she looked up at him. Her eyes were filled with affection, soft and open again.
"What if I want to wash it for you?" His fingers slipped through the damp strands, his eyes adoring the curls and coils forming and tightening as they spoke. His touch was light, curious, like he was learning her all over again.
She gave him a genuine smile. The first real one since last night. Ryan felt the knot in his chest loosen. He took a breath.
"Okay," she said.
He leaned down and took up the bag. She looked at it curiously.
"What's in the bag?"
"Food. I actually planned on taking you to the beach, but since you're washing your hair that is a no," he said, chuckling, his eyes crinkling.
"You can take me to that picnic you promised," she said, smiling. His heart skipped a beat as he looked at her. Yeah, I definitely could.
"Yeah, sounds like a plan," he answered.
Closer
His hands massaged her scalp with firm but gentle movements. While she sat on the toilet seat cover he stood beside her, his fingers working the lather through her thick coils. The bathroom was still warm with steam. He stared at her hair, surprised at how much it had shrunk compared to its silk press state, fascinated by how different and soft it was.
"Would you consider a relaxer in your hair?" he asked as his fingers continued to work the conditioner through her hair and scalp.
She smiled, eyes closed, letting herself enjoy his touch.
"No, I've always been a natural girl." She turned her head slightly. She only caught sight of his jeans, the dark denim near her shoulder. "You don't like how my hair looks now?"
His fingers slowed, more careful.
"Actually, I do. I think it's very thick and beautiful, just like the owner."
Sudie chuckled, a small sound in the quiet bathroom.
"Is that flattery?"
"A little, but it's also the truth. Sue, you're gorgeous."
A flush crept up her neck.
"Okay." She swallowed hard, holding back what she really wanted to say. Her hands fidgeted in her lap.
"Am I doing this okay?" He shifted slightly to the left his fingers accidentally brushing on the back of her neck. The accidental touch made her inhale sharply.
Sudie sighed and closed her eyes. "Yes, you're doing good," she said, her shoulders dropping, her body finally giving in to his touch.
He continued to work the lather through her hair, his eyes adoring her relaxed countenance. I'll do anything to make you feel safe, he mused, watching the way she trusted him with her head in his hands.
"You're beautiful," he muttered softly.
Her breath caught and a shiver ran up her spine, visible even under the damp towel around her shoulders. Ryan noticed. He placed his fingers at the back of her neck and massaged gently, his thumb making small, soothing circles.
"Hmm..."
"This okay?"
"Yes," was the airy reply. Her voice was barely there.
Ryan's throat went dry. He took a quick breath and swallowed, trying to keep his own heart steady.
A beat. The only sound was water dripping. She cleared her throat.
"Ready to help me rinse?" she asked.
"Sure," he said, lifting his hands away and moving to rinse them at the sink, his hands lingering under the water a second too long.
Sudanie stood up and walked around him to grab a towel from the towel rack. The space was suddenly too small for both of them. She handed a beige colored one to him. He took it while giving her a guarded smile.
She gave him an awkward nod and reached behind him to rinse her hands at the bathroom faucet, her arm brushing his chest.
"You wanna get to...?"
She nodded. "Yeh," she said, a faint smile on her lips.
He moved to his right so she could get to stand in front of the faucet and bend over it. The position made him look away for a second to compose himself.
"There's a little bucket right there," she said, pointing to her right. Ryan followed the direction her index finger was pointing in and saw a small water pitcher with hand grip.
She straightened up so he could fill it with water from the sink. He set it down on the edge of the shower wall. When she bent over again he came behind her. However, he made sure no part of his body was touching her. He turned on the faucet and gently pulled and detangled the tresses while the water ran over them, his focus entirely on being careful.
"Is this okay?"
"Yes, you're doing well. Just take your time."
Bent over in front of him with his hands in her hair made a reckless feeling start in her chest and spread across her whole body, tingling every nerve ending. The air changed. It was no longer just a wash day. It was intimate, charged.
"Come closer," she said quietly.
Ryan moved closer, his shadow falling over her.
"Closer," she said, her voice a little husky. He came up, his body flush against her, his hips aligning perfectly with her buttocks. He let out a small, nervous laugh.
"This was probably not a good idea," he mused. "I can feel you."
Sudie smiled, her eyes still closed, water running over her hair onto his hands.
"I can feel you too." she said, closing her eyes and biting her lips.
He exhaled softly. Let's get this over with. He allowed the running water to fill the palm of his hands then poured it over her hair, trying to keep his mind on the task.
"Use the pitcher," she said as she shifted her body.
Ryan grunted, his composure slipping.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" he said, pressing himself against her. She pushed her hips back and he gripped her, steadying both of them.
Giggling, she wiggled her butt a little. Ryan bent forward and circled his arms around her waist, pulling her back against him to stop her.
"Behave," he said, his voice holding a hint of heat, but mostly tenderness.
Sudie laughed, breathless.
"I can feel that you're excited," she replied.
He bumped himself into her and she gasped, the solidness of him catching her off guard. She desperately wanted to experience a moment of passion with him again, but couldn't bear a repeat of the rejection she felt last night when he pulled back from her.
"Okay, I'll behave," she said, her fingers gripping the faucet, all the while she wished she didn't have to behave.
"Good girl," he muttered, reaching for the water pitcher, his voice low.
Her heart rate sped up and she sighed. She was looking forward to their wedding night. Using the plastic pitcher, Ryan carefully poured water over her silken tresses as he rinsed out the product, his movements now slow, deliberate, meticulous.
He toweled her hair dry and helped her part it into sections before she moisturized and plaited it. The bathroom smelled like coconut and conditioner, and them.
Back on the couch, Ryan pulled her into a comfortable position, his arms around her, her head on his chest.
"I was thinking of spending the whole day resting," she said, snuggling up to his side.
He brushed his hand over her arm, his touch light now, restrained.
"We can have what I brought for breakfast. I was planning on taking you out to dinner later."
"So you were planning for the whole day?" Sudie brushed a hand across his chest and relaxed as she leaned into him.
Ryan looked down at his sexy fiance. "I want to be with you," he said simply. She was wearing a white blouse, and burgundy shorts that did not cover her brown, shapely thighs. He wanted to touch them, but he wasn't going to. His hands stayed firmly at her waist, her arm.
"What are you looking at?" she teased, scooting closer and throwing her legs across his lap. Her boldness made his breath hitch.
Sudie shivered at the soft, endearing contact of his lips on her skin. The tenderness and extra care he was showing this morning was making it harder for her not to want to give herself to him. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"Rhy, I really want you," she said softly.
"I want you too, sweet baby. I want to show you how much."
"What do you mean?"
"I want to show you by being the man who deserves you." He reached up and gently cupped her face, his thumb stroking her cheekbone.
"I want you to meet my dad and siblings tomorrow."
Sudie shifted forward her face showing surprise.
"Tomorrow?"
"Mhm, yeah. I've told them about you and my dad really wants to see you." He placed a lingering kiss on her forehead. "Plus, I wanna do it right this time. I want to earn your trust."
He turned his upper body towards her.
"Sue, after I dropped you home last night I took a taxi back home, and while I was sitting in the car I thought about what happened between us." He bent forward and rubbed his nose gently on hers then eased back on the couch. Sudie leaned into him. "I was selfish. It was wrong what I did to you."
She scooted closer. Ryan circled his arms around her waist. She didn't understand, but sensed that something had changed in him.
"Why do you say you were selfish? I wanted it too, and if you wanted to take it further I would have been willing. To be honest, I wished you had taken it further."
Ryan smiled ruefully at her.
"I know. It wouldn't have made it right though..."
"I know, but..."
Ryan touched her lips, completely short circuiting her brain.
"Here me out, Sue."
She nodded slowly. Ryan took her right hand, kissed the palm then laced his fingers through hers, holding on like an anchor.
"The thought of you makes my heart happy and being near you isn't just a sexual thing for me. I enjoy your company. The past couple of months I've forgotten that and been distracted by the lust inside me.
"I hurt you yesterday. I gave you pleasure, but I spoiled it for you, for both of us. I want to make sure the next time I touch you like that you are my wife and you feel safe with me."
With eyebrows raised she watched him.
"You thought about all of that during the taxi ride home?"
He saw her skepticism and chuckled softly.
"Pretty much. I didn't have driving to distract me. I had no choice but to face myself."
"So what now?" she asked, feeling the pressure of his hand on hers.
"Now I give myself fully to the Lord so He can guide me in how to love you."
Something flickered across Sudie's face, but slipped away quickly. Ryan touched her left cheek.
"I want you," he said sincerely. He took a deep breath then exhaled. "But you're the daughter of a King. A King I swore allegiance to the day I accepted his Son's invitation to new life. I have not been perfect. I won't be, but it's time I walk in the life He's called me to."
He took another quick breath, his countenance sobering.
"It's about time we both honor Him the way we know we should."
Sudie pulled her hand away from his and shifted her body slightly away from him. His fingers curled at the sudden loss of her warmth.
"What does that mean?"
He exhaled softly.
"It means saying no to myself, and to you if I have to. It means praying more, seeking Him more. I hope we can have devotions together. It means me respecting your body and not touching you in places that will make you weak.
"I love you, Sudie, and I know you love me, but I need us to love Him more. Just like you prayed yesterday."
The room fell silent as he waited for her response. She stood up and headed towards the kitchen.
"I'll heat up what you brought so we can eat it."
"Okay," he said quietly. She turned her head to look at him, an unreadable expression on her face, then disappeared through the kitchen doorway.
I'll never be Lissa
She rinsed two plates slowly, water running warm over her fingers, replaying him in her head. The kitchen was too quiet.
"I was selfish."
Selfish. That was the word he used. Not rushed, not eager — selfish. Like he had taken something instead of sharing something.
She hated that he was right. Hated more that he was trying to be right now. Saying he wanted to do it proper, even if it meant telling himself no. Even if it meant telling her no.
She flicked water off a plate too hard and it clanged against the sink.
No? Since when did Ryan tell her no?
"He says he was being selfish," she scoffed.
She understood, she did. That was the annoying part. Underneath the sulk, underneath this anger and resentment building in her chest she could see his point. She understood.
Didn't he want her? She had opened herself up to him. He had seen her in her most vulnerable state: body shivering, back arching, eyes closed, and her breathless before him; wanting him.
She sucked her teeth.
"No."
His eyes consumed her when she lay breathless before him. She felt his hunger in the way he touched her. She took a deep breath and released it slowly. But was that about her or just his lust like he said?
"What do I do now? I can't pretend nothing happened between us. I don't want to pretend.
"After he makes me... Then he leaves me like that." She sucked her teeth. "Now he wants me to pretend like he never touched me there. Like he never made me want..."
The back of her eyes prickled. She took an unsteady breath. Am I not beautiful enough?
For Lissa he lost control. For Lissa he gave in and made love to her. For me? He says he's selfish.
But I am not Lissa. Lissa is beautiful, brown skinned with those big brown eyes. That charming smile. I am darker skinned. I am taller, more athletic, not soft curves like her.
She took a tiny breath then exhaled, her shoulders sagging.
He fell in love with her and gave himself to her, but for me he puts up a wall. Am I not good enough?
"Does he really want me or am I just a substitute?" Her hands sloshed the water around in the sink.
"I'll never be Lissa," she mumbled, her voice cracking.
"You don't have to be her. You're perfect as you are."
Sudie dropped the plates in the sink. They made a loud clang. She spun around to see Ryan standing by the door, his face serious, his eyes pained. Her heart rate sped up. How much does he know?
"Look at me," he whispered softly. She lifted her head.
He looked at her face. Her eyes were glossy and she wouldn't look at him directly. His hands tightened on her fingers.
"You okay?" He looked down at her hands. No cuts. Thank God!
"You okay, baby?"
She nodded, her eyes shifting away from his intense gaze.
"You're trembling," he said, his voice dropping, worry replacing everything else.
He pulled her towards his chest and held her to him. Circling his arms around her, he led her back to the sofa and made her sit, his hand rubbing her back.
"I'll heat the food up for us, okay?"
She looked up at him uncertainty in her eyes. Ryan wasn't sure if it was because he offered to prepare the food, or their relationship.
She blinked.
"Do you know where everything is?" she asked.
He nodded and tenderly touched her cheek. He smiled at her gently.
"Yeah, I do."
She bent her head.
"Okay."
Ryan quickly moved through the kitchen. He knew where she kept her stash of chamomile tea. He quickly set the kettle on the stove filling it with water from the sink. After the whistle of the teapot hit fever pitch, he turned off the stove and poured the hot water into her favorite black and white porcelain mug. The one she said her grandma gave her as a Christmas gift.
He brewed the tea bag, just barely dipping it in the hot water the way he saw her do on several occasions. He put a teaspoon of brown sugar in and barely squeezed lime juice from half a lime he saw in the fridge. Moving purposefully, he brought the tea to her in the thick mug, a smile on his face.
She took it from him with a lopsided smile.
"Thank you."
"Chamomile," he said.
Sudie nodded and inhaled the fragrant steam wafting into her nostrils. She wrapped both hands around it and took a sip, letting the warmth finally settle in her chest where the jealousy had been.
She looked up at him, both hands wrapped around the thick mug, steam curling around her chin. How did he know she liked it this way? A teaspoon of sugar with just a little lime juice squeezed into it. Not honey. Not lemon. Lime. Just a squeeze.
"The tea. How do you know I like it like this?
His expression didn't change. Like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
He smiled at her. "You told me," he said simply.
Her brows knitted together.
"But..." A vague memory came to mind, fuzzy at the edges. She told him that on their first date. Sitting across from him, nervous, rambling about tea because she didn't know what else to say. That was over ten months ago.
"I told you that over ten months ago," she said, looking at him—feeling perplexed. As though he had just performed a small miracle she couldn't explain.
Ryan's smile softened, and he looked at her. His eyes showing that she was the only one who mattered to him.
"I never forget anything about you, Sue," he said simply.
No flourish. No speech. Just the truth: simple and devastating.
He touched her cheek, his thumb brushing just under her eye where her tears had been.
"I'm coming with the food. Give me fifteen minutes."
She took another sip of the tea and marveled at him, watching him over the rim of her mug. Her eyes followed him.
"Okay," she said, inclining her head slightly as she stared.
He touched her shoulder, a light squeeze as he passed, and went back to the kitchen. The kitchen where he knew where everything was. Sudie looked at the dark, hot liquid in her favorite mug, the black and white porcelain warm against her palms.
My favorite mug. Wait... He?
The realization that he had gotten the mug right — not just any mug, her grandma's mug, the one she only used when she needed comfort — made her heart flutter. It stuttered, then took off. A warm feeling grew quietly in her chest and settled in her gut, low and spreading.
A man who doesn't care wouldn't notice these little things. The thought surfaced in her mind and stayed there, quiet but unshakable. A man who sees her as a substitute wouldn't remember how she takes her tea ten months later. A man who doesn't want her wouldn't know which mug matters.
And Ryan knew.
I love you
"I love you," he said softly.
She did not look at him, but continued what she was doing, her focus too careful, too deliberate. "How many pieces of sprat do you want?" she asked casually.
"Four is fine for now," he answered.
"Okay," she said, nodding. She placed them on his plate.
"Thank you," he said.
"Welcome," she replied.
"Sudie," he said softly.
The air around them seemed to tighten and become heavy with unsaid things, thick enough to choke on.
"I'm so sorry. I never want you to have any doubt about my love." He took a breath and sighed, the sound ragged. "You don't need to be like her." He cleared his throat. "Your love has made made me a better man."
After serving a portion of everything for herself she sat down and started eating. She didn't look at him, her eyes fixed on her plate as if he wasn't even there.
Ryan felt restless, the quiet grating at him. "Baby, please look at me."
Slowly she lifted her head, but stared at a section of the wall behind him, as if looking right through him.
"Sue." His Adams' Apple bobbed as he swallowed. "Why I don't want to take your virginity now. It's not because I don't want you. Baby, I think about it. I think about making you mine, even now I want you." He softened his tone, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. "It's because you're special to me. Baby, you've been saving yourself for the right man, the man who will hold your heart with care and not hurt you." He took a breath and released it forcefully.
"I will admit that I have not been doing a good job of making you feel secure from the time you heard that convo with Mark, and even yesterday, but if you give me another chance I promise I will do better."
"You gave yourself to her without thinking," Sudie said softly.
Ryan felt his blood run cold, the color draining from his face. "I thought I gave myself to her. I had sex with her, and I thought I loved her but I didn't."
She looked at him then, feeling disillusioned. "You didn't love her?"
"I thought I did." He couldn't stand the way she was looking at him like he had grown two heads.
"I wanted her and I thought I loved her. She wanted to take it slow, because of what was happening with her and Sarge. Initially, I told her yes I would be patient, but I wasn't. The minute she said she wanted to I gave in. If I loved her I would have told her no and waited."
"So what is this? You're just deciding to be good?" Sudie asked, her eyes cold.
Ryan sighed. He shook his head sadly. "No, this is me trying not to think of myself only."
She scoffed.
"Sue, you're how old now? 29?"
She nodded, sarcasm in her gaze.
"You've been waiting until now. That is a good and honorable thing. You've been doing it because of your faith?"
She nodded.
She looked at her plate, unable to meet his eyes.
"Tell me you understand?" he asked, his voice rough with desperation.
"It hurt," she said quietly. "It hurt when you pulled away from me. I was expecting you to..."
Ryan's eyes fluttered closed for a brief, pained second. "You expected me to finish what I started?"
"Yeah," she replied, her shoulders rigid, her whole body tight with pent up tension.
He released a sharp breath. He put down his fork and raked his right hand over his face trying to gather himself. He took a sip of his soda and cleared his throat, the sound too loud in the awkward quiet between them.
Sudie's eyebrows lifted slowly. "What?"
He leaned back in the chair and looked at her, really looked at her, his gaze dark and unblinking. "I won't deny. I want you. I want you to the point it hurts." He leaned forward, closing the distance, his voice dropping. "So what if I decided to give it to you? Tonight. Any position you want. Anywhere you want. I'll take you in the shower. In your bed. Sue, I'll even give it to you on the floor if you want it like that."
Her heart rate spiked. Looking into his eyes she saw that the playful side of him was gone and the hunter had been awakened. She swallowed hard, her breath catching.
"I'll give it to you anyway you want it. Anywhere you want it. Just tell me. Just say it."
She swallowed. "I..."
"What?" he said, his eyes were serious but his lips curled into a wicked smile.
"I don't just want sex, Rhy, I want you. I want to be with you and be in love. I want my time with you to be special. I thought it was with you yesterday." She felt downcast. She used the fork to push her food around on the plate. Her grip on the fork turned vise-like, the light catching the tremor in her hand.
His gaze softened as he watched her insecurity surface, all the sharp edges in him melting away. "That's the thing. It was special. Seeing you that way was special to me. Knowing that no other man has seen you like that turned me on in the strongest way. But my conscience showed me that I was wrong—that I was rushing things. If I say I love you, and if I say I love God I have to show that by what I do."
He got up from his chair and went to kneel before her, so they were eye to eye. She looked at him, her eyes watering, glistening. He cupped her face gently, his palms warm against her skin. "You're not some cheap thrill. You don't want that, Sudie, and that is not what you deserve. You're not just any girl. You don't need to be experienced for me.
"As for Lissa, you definitely don't need to be her. Lissa brought me pain, although, I will admit I saw the warning signs and walked right into that situation. But you... You've brought me so much clarity; so much kindness, and affection and happiness."
She inhaled and released a ragged breath, the air finally finding its way back into her lungs.
"You make so horny," he murmured against her skin, his breath hot as it fanned across her jaw, down the arch of her neck. His hand rose, fingers brushing along her cheekbone like he was trying to memorize her by touch alone.
She swallowed and tried to breathe, her chest rising unevenly. "Like what?"
"Your legs in the air, me between them tasting your sweetness. Taking my time, making sure you enjoy every minute of it."
Her heart fluttered, a frantic, soft fluttering she could feel in her throat. "I want to have that."
His thumb lightly brushed on her chin, barely a touch, but it sent a shiver through her. "You've changed your mind? You want me to?"
Her head moved up and down slowly, her breathing unsteady, eyes never leaving his.
He chuckled softly, his gaze narrowed on her lips, dark and intent. "I want to give that to you... when the time is right."
"Okay."
"Baby, you have to trust me, okay? You're the only one I want. I regret every interaction I've ever had before you. I wish I was pure for you."
She touched his face, her fingertips feather-light against his skin. "You mean that?" Her eyes searched his face.
"Mhm, yeah I do. I could learn your body. Everything with you would be brand new: the first touch, the first kiss, everything would be new. It would be easier for me to control myself around you too."
She giggled softly, the sound breaking the tension.
He smiled at her. "What's so funny?" An amused look appeared on his face as he stared at her.
"The thought that you want to change for me. I don't know..."
"What?" He kissed her forehead, lingering there.
She shook her head, unbelief in her gaze. He's so confident and just knows how to touch me. Wouldn't he want to keep any of those experiences?
"Talk to me?"
"You wish you were pure for me?" she asked, not believing it.
He nodded slowly. "Yes, I do," he said sincerely. "If I hadn't been with anyone else I wouldn't be so messed up, and hurt you."
She sighed. Looking into 'his eyes she realized he was serious. He would change for me?
"You would change for me?" she asked, her heart galloping in her chest.
"I am already changing for you?" he said softly, his gaze holding hers, steady and unwavering.
The knot in her chest loosened, unraveling all at once. "You can't go back in time, but we can move forward. Together."
"That's what I want."
She reached for him and he pulled her into his embrace, wrapping her up completely.
"I love you so much," she whispered, her voice muffled against him.
He closed his eyes and tightened his hold on her, wanting to hold her close forever and not let go. "I love you too, sweetness, very much. Every nerve, every cell, every fibre of my being; down to my toe nails adore you."
She giggled, unable to help it. He smiled and rubbed his hands over her back with slow, soothing strokes.
"Let's eat," she said, moving away, but he pulled her back into him.
"Five more minutes," he said, his voice soft but gravelly, worn thin with emotion.
"The food's getting cold," she said, but she was still smiling, not really fighting him.
"I know, but I need this."
Sudie decided to remain still and let him hold her. She took a long breath and her shoulders relaxed, all the hurt from before melting out of her. She loved the smell of his cologne and the warmth of his body. Cradling her head on his shoulder, she took another quiet breath, and closed her eyes. Safe.
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